Wednesday, April 20, 2011

DON'T EMBARASS ME IN TARGET!!!

I’m not a licensed therapist, counselor, or doctor. I have no certification in anything and never completed any type of training that would deem me worthy of what I am about to conclude…With that warning and foreword, I have deduced that kids are unpredictable…. And parents are clueless. That’s right! I said it! Now take a few moments to relish in this revelation.  
I saw something at the store the other day that flat out astounded me. I stopped and starred in the same manner we tell our kids NOT TO. I couldn’t help myself….Kylee’s reaction to what we saw gave me a glimmer of hope that maybe I AM doing this mom thing right…Just maybe….Fingers crossed.
There we were, in the place I go for refuge…Peace, tranquility and harmony…. The big red circle symbol that draws me in like a bee to pollen… or dogs to trees.… That unexplainable, magnetic pull that men and husbands can’t understand and women can’t elucidate. Some pronounce it Tar-jay….and some just call it TARGET. Wow, there is power in the word alone. Ok, maybe I am taking my obsession to a new level…But seriously, I love this store. Who doesn’t??
We were making our way to the shoes and as I passed the women’s clothes, I noticed a familiar face…Couldn’t quite put my finger on how I knew this woman….(which is irrelevant to the point of this story) Then Kylee saw her two boys and said, Hey, that boy used to be in my class….I realized she was another mom I frequently passed coming in or leaving daycare… OK, good to know, moving on… Later on, I saw the same woman browsing through the new summer arrivals… and her two boys (approximately 2 and 4) were having a UFC match right there between the new V-neck T’s and rompers. One boy had a death grip on his brother’s shirt, the other one had him by his shorts….It was a messy knot of kids, entangled in fury. The guy in Electronics could hear this ruckus, but somehow, the mother had mastered the art of pure ignorance. She didn’t so much as twitch her eye, turn her head, roll her eyes, pop a vein or rip off her belt… She did NOTHING except check to see what size shirt she had in her hands. Before I could even begin to cast judgment, Kylee interrupted my critical thoughts with the following dialogue…
Kylee: I would never treat my brother like that!!!
Me: I know babe.. And if you did…..
Kylee interrupts me: You would spank us!
Me: Well, yea sweetie, I would…. There is absolutely NO good reason for those children to behave like that.
I took that impromptu moment to really press in the behavioral dysfunction that she had just witnessed. I explained that we all get angry at stuff. Sometimes we feel so mad we want to slam the door, or hit something or someone…But WHY it is not acceptable to release your emotions this way. If you have read a few of my past blogs, you know we are working on teaching Kylee the proper way to filter her emotions, and consequences for her actions. I can tell that by observing the emotional meltdown of those two little boys had some type of an effect on her. Those boys are probably perfectly normal and right on track as far as developmental chart is concerned. I can only base this conclusion on what I saw while in Target, but they appear to be the product of the NO DISCIPLINE, JUST IGNORE IT way of parenting. Again, this is why I say children are unpredictable, and parents are clueless…We are all just going through trials and many errors, hoping to find our groove, establish authority, instill obedience, and receive respect. I am very aware every child is different and what might work on Jack won’t work on Jill….But if it had been me, I would have purchased a belt specifically for them when we got home…. Just sayin…
The truth is, no one has all the answers. No one can control the actions of another person, old or young. Of course as soon as we got into the car, Logan began his tantrum. I roll my eyes to the sky and say out loud, “OK, I GET IT!” I sit quietly in the driver’s seat, grinding my teeth, choking the wheel, I can see my blond hair turning grey. I can feel my shoulder muscles getting tighter. The pressure and anxiety builds up and I literally feel as though I am going to rupture. I was thankful it happened in the privacy of our car and didn’t cause a disturbance in the sacred place of Target…It stressed me out nonetheless.
When these outbursts happen in the car, I feel trapped. Like I can’t take a timeout and close a door to gather my composure. It’s like putting a frazzled feline in a shoe box with a mouse. Home is the finish line….Home is the goal…If I can just get home and out of this car, everything will be fine…I somehow trick myself into believing that…. Every.single.time.   
Ahhhhhh, home sweet home. Our routine begins again. The cycle of controlled chaos. Cooking dinner and coloring at the same time…Dancing to music and watching ICarly at the same time. Wrestling Logan while carrying Kylee on my back. It’s a noisy and hectic day in the life of us…..But hey, it’s all a stage right??? RIGHT?!