At the risk of sounding like a whining teenager, last night totally sucked!!! Well, before I unravel my night, let me tell you about our evening, which totally rocked!
I took Kylee and Logan on a walk for about an hour… Well, Kylee scooted on her scooter while Logan and I tried to keep up. Then we stopped at the playground where I got to witness my oldest child extend love and kindness to a total stranger. It warmed my heart to it’s very core. There was this girl playing by herself. She was about Kylee’s age…. And Kylee approached her and striked up a conversation with her about the usual 4 year old stuff…..Ya know, shoes, “school”, her brother, Justin Bieber….The norm… This girl seemed to have a serious speech impediment and Kylee was having a hard time understanding her… I saw more patience pour out of Kylee than I think I have personally demonstrated all week. We eventually figured out her name was Jasmine… (“like from Aladdin!!” – Kylee-) I observed Kylee and Jasmine’s attempt to have a normal conversation…And much like I do when Logan jibber jabbers, I pretend to know what he is saying and attempt to carry on a typical conversation…I watched Kylee ask Jasmine general questions such as age, do you live in these apartments too, do you have a scooter, do you have a brother, what’s your favorite color and so on….I could tell that Kylee had no idea what her answers to these questions were. Unless she has Rosetta Stone for jibberish….But Kylee pretended, without missing a beat that she knew exactly what her answers were and continued on this one sided conversation for a good 5-10 minutes before she invited Jasmine to ride on her scooter. Jasmine seemed so excited that A) Someone was finally talking to her B) That someone was sharing with her and C) That she made a new friend. Kylee asked me if we can go back to the playground soon so she could play with her new friend, Jasmine…
Fast forward to what I like to call, the night that ended at 6AM………………………………
Kylee woke up at 10:45pm to tell me Logan was awake…. This was obviously in her abnormal sized brain a free pass to get out of bed. How could mommy be mad at me if I am just trying to be her big helper with Logan? Nicely played my sweet child…. Nicely played. On go, I am back in my bed. Crinkling up my crispy cold sheets between my toes, nudging my head back into my pillow, stretched it out and allowing the relaxing waves of comfort flood my body and I literally thought to myself, “Aww, a full night’s sleep, here I come!” Ok powers at be, I get it, you’re hilarious! I was wrong…Oh so so so very wrong. Later, ah, around midnight, Kylee wakes up and tells me she needs to go potty…..Something she KNOWS she doesn’t need to wake me up for. I don’t have to help her, she doesn’t need an audience. I was on a need to know basis, and I.DID.NOT.NEED.TO.KNOW!!! Nonetheless, she felt compelled to ask for permission…Yes that’s right, doesn’t ask for permission to get a snack from the cupboard before dinner, or to use my sharpie markers, put stickers on my nightstand, play with my laptop or use my makeup …. But at midnight, she feels compelled to ask for permission for the first time in months….Got it!
OK, so here we are…. Midnight…multiple hours after story time and prayer time…. I can hardly make it to midnight on New Year’s Eve…Let alone on a TUESDAY night…Oops, sorry, MORNING! But now, I am wide awake… I feel as though someone injected a triple shot of espresso into my blood. Sidebar: the NoNo’s of parenting, ya know, don’t let your child sleep with you, don’t let them run with scissors, no peanuts, etc all kind of flies right out the window at high speed when its hours past your bedtime! I invited Kylee into my bed in hopes she would peacefully doze off into her Non-rem cycle sleep…. To no avail. If you were a fly on the wall of my bedroom at 2am, you would find 2 wide eyed and bushy tailed girls with no hopes of falling asleep in their near future. Kylee began getting frustrated because she truly wanted to fall asleep and so did I. The last time I checked the clock it was 2:13am…. I haven’t seen the clock at 2am in quite a long time…Last time I did, I’m sure there was loud music and mixed drinks involved…One room over, Logan was soundly asleep with drumsticks prancing in his head. Turd!
What seemed like 10 minutes later, my alarmed sounded. Time to wake up. Its funny how waking up was so hard to do, but staying awake all night was something I had surrendered to. I conceded to the fact that we were not getting any sleep last night…My body felt heavy. My muscles felt like doe, my brain was using my skull as a hula hoop and spinning it round and round….Much like the aftershock of staying up until 2am for recreational purposes…Yet there was nothing recreational about my late night.
Being the sanguine person that I am, (insert mockery here) I found the bright side of the situation. Cuddling with Kylee and being the one to keep her company during her sleepless night was kinda, cherishable. (Yes, I make up words now)
Being a single mom, sleepless nights haven’t been something I struggle with. By the time the sun goes down, it’s all I can do to just stay awake in the shower. But I do remember sleepless nights…Worrisome nights…helpless nights….exhausting morning and days to follow… I was alone during those nights….So I could imagine the comfort Kylee felt knowing I was right there with her. She wasn’t alone. And surprisingly enough, she wasn’t too grumpy this morning…Probably because the amount of sleep she got was equivalent to that of an extended nap…. So we stopped at McDonald’s this morning for pancakes…I felt she deserved a medal for how tired she was and is going to be all day long. She even told me she couldn’t wait for nap time…. Me too kid, me too!
Oh well, sleep is something I can catch up on. The unpredicted mother-daughter time is something I can never fill up on enough…Even at 2am. There’s the silver lining. Now please excuse me as I drool on myself.