Tuesday, May 3, 2011

A lil bit of this, a lil bit of that....

Have you ever allowed your child to do something, that you are certain is not going to end well, but for some unknown reason you decide go against your better judgment and allow it to happen? Then predictably, it breaks, spills, or bites his sister? I did this yesterday and I am convinced I do little things like this to insure I am still capable of predicting the future in such an unpredictable world.  I picked the kids up after work yesterday and I had a watered down, never tasted good in the first place large diet coke from Sonic. Anytime I have something in the cup holder, Kylee immediately declares ownership of whatever it is. This is the reason I stopped drinking rum and coke in the car. (Calm down, I’m kidding… I never stopped) Well Logan is at that ‘If she has it I want it and I will scream until I am triumphant’ stage. So of course, Kylee grabbed my her drink and immediately Logan saw something she had and initiated the ‘Give it to me now’ scream from hell. In my parenting defense, we do not give Logan everything he wants just because he launches the Bruce Lee shriek that can bust glass, herd billygoats, and confuse parrots. However, while in an automobile, Logan is the king and receives whatever he commands. Kylee and I are at peace with this injustice. I am sure as Logan gets older, my tolerance for bleeding ears will be minimized, but until that day comes, it is what it is. A good friend once told me, I will win the war, but not all the battles. I forfeit this battle to set my sights on winning the war. Don’t judge me!
So here is the scenario; Kylee grabbed the drink, took a sip, surrendered to Logan’s scream, which I am sure in baby talk could possibly be translated into “Kylee, may I please have a sip of that?” Now I know a lot of my fellow mommy readers are probably researching the harmful effects soda has on children and preparing to send me to a support group for unfit mothers and dialing CPS. Allow me to again defend my brainless actions as a mother. This diet coke was so watered down, they received for caffeine from their Flinstone Vitamins. So, against my better judgment (again), not because it was coke, but because I knew it was going to be spilled at some point, I allowed Kylee to give the king what he was demanding… In his defense, he managed not to spill it until we pulled in to the apartment. Take your victories where you can right? Somehow, hearing Logan’s little voice say, UH-OHHHH, is too cute to get mad about. It was mainly ice and apparently water with a splash of diet coke. No harm done. Going upstairs…..
I mentioned in a previous blog I would try and write more joyful things so I am going to brag on my amazing night with the kiddos last night. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. I began cooking the second I put my purse down, made them both something to drink before the demands could even be voiced aloud. I.am.so.good.  Kylee and Logan were playing together peacefully and more importantly, lovingly. I witnessed a sibling bond strengthen right before my eyes. Darn it! Why do I always have my hands in a bowl of raw meat when these happens? Then we taught Logan how to jump off of a step stool, Kylee and I wrote a song, I let Logan pour a cup of water on his head in the tub because it made him laugh, then Kylee and I painted our nails. All of this was done with minimal to no screaming, hitting, biting, kicking, whining, talking back, time outs and last but certainly not least, NO SPANKING!!! Now this is what I signed up for!
The good reports continue. I reconciled with one of the girlfriends I was referring to in a previous post. We met up last week, laid it all out on the table like thanksgiving dinner! In efforts to spare you the superfluous details, it was just bad timing all around. She was in a rough season of her life, I am continuously in rough seasons, and with that formula, words were said and received inaccurately, then words went unsaid that needed to be said. Her elevator was going up as mine was going down and we never caught each other on the same floor at the same time. Until last week. We declared our love for each other like a sappy romantic comedy. It was the old us again, and it felt great! She was lucky enough to have a pot head waiter with no car named Jody hit on her. FAIL! I think it is safe to say we will no longer be going to that On The Border again. Ah well. We went to see a movie the following night. I don’t know about my handful (literally) of readers, but I absolutely adore these Madea movies. I love how Tyler Perry portrays himself as Madea. Some of my favorites from Madea: I'm Madea. Muh to da damn D-E-A! Halalura, (hallelujah) Dinter,  (dinner) Chi-ren (children)  Hellerrr (hello). It is so endless, but this movie had us cracking up! WIN!
I started my week off in a funk. I am in sales and if you are in or have ever been in sales, it is exasperating to say the least. Constantly trying to win the approval of people who I am unquestionably smarter than; relentlessly competing with other ding-dongs who again, I am surely more experienced and knowledgeable than they are. We are told NO more than YES, we are in a never ending state of kiss ass, and by the end of the day you feel as though you have accomplished nothing…Or at least that is what your commission check is screaming at you. In between my failed sales calls, I still have to manage the existing business I have, by the grace of God received. Which also entails much of the same maddening techniques used to get the business; but in addition, talk to more jack holes then you could possibly fathom. Oh, and I have to do all of this with a painted smile on my face and perky voice while pretending I don’t want to personally tattoo the word IDIOT across their forehead with a dirty needle. I have perfected this over time and most of my customers believe I like them; which is partially true, sometimes. Now if I could just shake this permanent sigh that comes in 15 minute increments.
I would like to suggest to all fast food restaurant owners to please have a formal training on how to properly secure the lid to drinks. I believe the world would be a better place if this was implemented ASAP.
Oh, and RIP Osama Bin Laden!