Friday, July 22, 2011

Disney or HBO???

I have a bone to pick with Disney. Here I am, single mother of two kiddos, trying to instill discipline, structure, rules, boundaries and all the other ‘mean mom’ amenities to their lives, and Disney is walking behind me one movie at a time slowly undoing all my mommy work. I love Disney, I love Disney World and I love all the movies. But their movies are giving my child some wacky mixed messages. Kylee already has to decipher different rules under different roofs every other weekend. But now she is left to translate why Thumper doesn’t have to listen to his mom but she has to listen to me? Apparently the answer “because he is a rabbit and you are human” doesn’t suffice for Kylee. So I am turning to Disney for some answers. Please explain:
1)       The Lion King. The lesson here is what, exactly? I suppose Disney is trying to demonstrate that we all have responsibilities we might not like, but we can’t run away from our problems….What I got from it was even your own family will be jealous of what you have, potentially try to kill you and your dad, all for the sake of success and control and that its all ok because the ends justify the means. What Kylee learned is not to trust any creepy uncles.
2)      Cinderella – Ok I love love love this one. This was actually one of my favorites growing up. Being a single divorced mom of a 4 year old daughter, you might know where I am going with this. This fairly tale engrains a very unrealistic fear of step parents into children’s minds. Growing up I assumed all step moms and dads secretly held their kids captive like Jaycee Lee Dugard. Kylee likes to use her magic wand and bippity-boppity-boo her shoes into the closet. Sure the fairy godmother hooked Cinderella up with a sweet ride, a fantastic gown, very breakable and blister inducing shoes and got to work her A-game on the prince and was ultimately rescued from her illegal captivity and lived happily ever after. I guess the message here is supposed to be Dreams really do come true…. The actual message that is received, sit in your terrible situation, do nothing to help yourself and eventually everything will work out for you. Oh, and the first man you meet will be THE ONE. Awesome!
3)      The Little Mermaid – Another one of my favorites. I used to splash outta the pool like Ariel and flip my hair back and bowing my flat chest out just imagining I had knockers like hers…at 16…Well apparently this spoiled rotten golden child wanted more than she had, she makes a deal with the sea devil, her father’s arch enemy, trades her voice for legs, gets on land, acts like a mute retard and still seems to win the prince over (refer back to knockers). But realistically, Ariel never would have met the ‘man of her dreams at 16’ had she not sold her soul to the devil, figuratively speaking. And does anyone notice that she is only 16 and getting married?!!! Please explain to my 4 yr old the difference between a license to drive and license to wed!  No Kylee, you can’t get married at 16, I don’t care what Ariel did, now go watch the Disney channel…wait, wha?! So the intentional message was true love conquers all… But what I saw was a little compromise with the devil, disobeying your father is all justifiable as long as it all turns out okay in the end.
4)      Beauty and the Beast – Ahhh nothing better than a Disney movie to support abusive relationships. It’s ok if he has an anger management problem, stick around and try to change him, make him better, for you. There’s probably a prince underneath all that wrath anyways. I am assuming the message here is to treat others the way you wish to be treated. But was I the only one who saw that the beast held her captive in his castle? (what is it with Disney and holding people prisoner?) nothing says ”I love you” quite like kidnapping. So be patient girls, if your man forces you into things against your will, snaps at you, growls in your face, just be patient because in the end he will transform into a sexy, romantic prince.
5)      Aladdin – Spoiled little princess Jasmine is so sick of being rich and pampered and living the life of luxury. Bless her little heart. Let’s teach our youngsters early on that no matter how good you got it now, if you sneak out at night there is bound to be something better in the streets.  And by George she found it! Her true love, who turns out to be a THIEF and a LIAR. Buuuuut, he had a good reason to lie, and steal, and cheat his way to the palace. Right? The youngsters take an unsupervised carpet ride to a few different countries, wearing next to nothing, make out, destroy the evil politician, Jafar and his annoying bird, free a genie and live happily ever after… OH, the thief and liar ultimately becomes a prince, because they somehow deemed him worthy of the title… The message here was….I’m actually completely lost on this message. Ohhhh wait, was it something about Aladdin being a diamond in the rough? Yes, that’s it. Go get your diamonds girls! They are out there in the “rough”
6)      Alice in friggin Wonderland – Acid. Enough said.
This post doesn’t mean I don’t adore Disney, because I do. Every time a movie comes out of the vault we are next in line at Target.  I just believe some of their messages are difficult to explain to my child who seems almost hell bent of finding every loop hole possible to break the rules and disobey authority. Look no further Kylee, pop in a Disney movie and take notes. 
But it would mean the world to me if Disney could make a movie about a supermom who, even though she has to discipline her children, still loves them more than anything in the world, and the child magically becomes obedient and respectful, and the family lives happily ever after. Yes, No, Maybe?


Friday, July 15, 2011

The New news

I know I promised you all some exciting news... So in a nutshell, God blessed me. I was struggling to get a car of my own bc the Ex is paying late on the car we own together. I have been driving my ex-family's car. I am so grateful to them, but with the big D not being final yet, emotions flying high, I was never sure what was next or if I would be left without transportation, etc. Until last week, some very special people in my life blessed me. So here she is, MY OWN CAR!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Sick rhymes with WHAT?

I remember the days when long holiday weekends meant an extra day to do the chores, and extra day to rest, catch up on trash TV, clip your toe nails, pluck something, and order in pizza… My 4th of July weekend was NOTHING like this. It was the complete opposite of that to be exact.
A few posts back I mentioned how smoothly the Ex Train seemed to be rolling… I should have known there would be hidden unmarked detours that would derail us to Bitterland. I tend to forget or allow myself to ignore the fact that one’s past choices can help you predict their future choices. Let me start from the beginning of my weekend from HELLooooo.
Kylee and Logan started a new daycare thanks to CCMS. As a single mom receiving no child support I qualified for the childcare assistance, barely… But they can now go to a real “school” which will hopefully bring back some normalcy to Kylee’s world she seems to be missing since the big D. She missed going to her daycare and when her dad and I split up, I couldn’t afford to send her there. So for 5 minutes, I got to be her hero for once! There has been a lot of legwork to get them enrolled. Such as calling doctors for shot records, Kylee eavesdropping on my conversation, explaining to Kylee that she doesn’t need shots, her not believing me, me asking her to stop listening to my conversations, then grunts and eye rolling from both of us her. It has been a headache, but well worth it. Logan is adjusting pretty well there too. WIN!
I was leaving work last week and realized the side window of the car is busted out from the heat! What? That happens?! Seriously? So I get to graciously drive to the new daycare with a busted out window, sweat drenched shirt and pants, soaking wet head to toe. I was THAT mom…. I kept my big sunglasses on with my head hung lower than my shoulders and quickly got in and out with as few people seeing me as possible. I was excited to start my long holiday weekend with the kids, but .58 seconds after I picked them up Kylee threw her attitude at me like a fast pitched baseball!  Throughout the weekend, I realized that she doesn’t know how to respond with OUT pouting… Even when getting her way… she pouts. It leaves me in a state of total confusion. I am convinced that with every tantrum, every eye rolls, every spanking creates a hole in my memory/brain. I am retaining very little information these days and can hardly finish a thought without asking someone to remind me where I am, what I was saying, and who they are. I have a mental image of all these important facts I need to remember scattered on the ground trailing behind me as I lug the kids upstairs… It’s pathetic. This is going to become a problem....Sometimes I just- - - What was I saying?
If I attempted to use the restroom (GASP) the second I round the corner and leave their sight I hear screams. HE PULLED MY HAIR! HE HIT ME! HE CHANGED THE CHANNEL! HE WON’T GIVE ME MY TOY BACK! HE SNEEZED ON ME! It was a web of tattle telling, crying, pouting, talking back, rolling eyes and crying…From all of us. Because they can’t understand the concept of TIME yet, they don’t understand why we can’t go down to the pool at 730 in the damn AM!!! In their little brains, they have been up forever, they’re tired of watching Team Umizoomi and ready to swim….At 730 AM on Saturday… Swimming is my secret weapon… It wears them out, it kills time and is or the most part, fun for all of us. I can’t waste this weapon out at 730am…Then what would we do after their nap?! No, my answer is NO. Of course Kylee handles hearing NO just about as well as a cat handles being thrown in water. So, of course this ignites the downfall of our Saturday.
 I decided to go ahead and brave the heat that busted my window and go to Target for a few things. While in heaven Target Kylee asked me if SICK rhymes with DICK…. That’s right… My child can RHYME!! Luckily the nun next to us didn’t hear her…. After a few questions I located the root to this weed and figured out where she heard that… Of course I made a mature attempt to address it with those she is hearing this language from, and to no avail. Because of course, Kylee ‘never” says or acts this way when I’m not around. I must just bring it out in her. (Insert sarcasm here) Some call it CO-PARENTING; I like to refer to it now as NO-PARENTING. Throughout the weekend, she continuously shocked me with more language I’m pretty sure Chelsea Lately doesn’t even uses, but again, it must be me. (Or Fisher-Price...Yeah, thats the culprit!)
A heavy cloud of exhaustion, failure, disappointment, and discouragement lingered over my head as I prayed my way through the valley of total despair. I was more than content with the idea of skipping church and possibly getting a nap (GASP) but Kylee really wanted to go to church. I thought to myself, I am not gonna let Satan keep me from taking the kids to church… So we got dressed, faced the heat and went to church. The message was just what I needed. I felt refreshed, hopeful, and ready to face anything. Anything except the cop that just pulled me over. GAH!
Fast forward to the 4th of July. We went to a friend’s house for a BBQ, and for the most part had no issues. It’s a hard thing for Kylee right now to learn and test her boundaries at each home. But in my home, “sick” does NOT rhyme with… ANYTHING!!!
I am teaching the lesson tonight at the women’s prison ministry I am a part of. I am so ready to share my experience with these ladies and how God has moved in my life this past week. I have spent a lot of time praying for those who have hurt me, and it has humbled me in so many ways. Without fear, there is no such thing as courage. I am pulling my courage from the Lord, not my circumstances.
Thanks for reading! And check back soon for some exciting news!!!