Wednesday, August 24, 2011

TO DO Lists

If you are anything like me, your days and weeks are dominated by TO DO lists.  Also, if you are anything like me, it is typically at the end of the day, in the shower when you realize you have forgotten multiple tasks on the TO DO list. I usually roll over items, tasks, things to the next day’s list, and repeat the vicious cycle. I thought I would create a TO DO list entry about all of the things I have forgotten (this week, thus far), put off, or just plain stopped caring about on my special little TO DO list.
1.       Get milk – It’s when I decide to have cereal for dinner (after the kids are in bed) that I remember, CRAP I forgot to stop and get milk.
2.       Buy new loofah  - My loofah’s lifespan is usually between 1-2 days weeks. Again, I only remember this when I am in the shower and pieces of my loofah are falling at my feet and the plastic part connected to the string is cutting my skin. Then I’m all like, Yeah I am totally buying a new one tomorrow. I will not shower again until I get a new loofah. Repeat the following night.
3.       Hang that picture – Ya know that one picture or wall decoration that has been leaning against the wall for months and has now taken up permanent residency on your dining room floor.
4.       Get gas – I always intend to stop and get gas before I get the kids and each day the heat comes as a total surprise to me. As if I forgot that the forecast was 105 (same as the day before) and I promise myself to wake up a tad early the next day and do it before the hellish heat begins. Repeat until gas light comes on.
5.       Round up Sippy cups from daycare – I round up Sippy cups, blankies, and other childcare facility paraphernalia  weekly and every morning, every afternoon, I walk in, I walk out without those dag-gum cups! Then I see on the daily report sheet in bubbly handwriting – PLEASE CLEAN OUT YOUR KIDDOS’ CUBBY! J  A.KA. – TAKE ALL THESE FRIGGIN CUPS HOME BEFORE WE DONATE THEM TO CHARIT LADYY!!  FOR PETE’S SAKE WE’RE NOT YOUR DISHWASHER OR YOUR KITCHEN CABINET!
6.       Clean the microwave – Like, for real clean. Each time I pop it open I think, Ewe this looks like a frat house microwave. All I use it for is Easy Mac, what the heck is that?  I shut the door, add it to the list and move on with good intentions.
7.       Get toilet paper – We go through toilet paper FAST. No idea how or why. Logan is not potty trained and I still have to explain the importance of wiping to Kylee. But I didn’t poop is not a justifiable reason NOT to wipe every single time KYLEE!  It’s when I find myself using baby wipes that I realize, crap (no pun intended), gotta get TP.
8.       Take _____ to the cleaners.   – There is always a reason to go to the cleaners however it typically falls right off the list, along with everything else.
9.       Vacuum the car – I wonder if any parents actually have a strict NO EATING IN THE CAR rule that is successful? Logan gets a bag of cereal every morning and drops approximately 35-75 cheerios into the small nooks and crannies of his car seat and the floor. Kylee comes home every day with roughly 5-7 pages of crap. Of course each page is special so we must keep it. It isn’t special enough for her to carry it while my hands are full of Logan and the milk I finally remembered to pick up, but it IS special enough to leave in the floorboard  of my car. I usually add this task to my list on a non-custodial night so when they return to me, Kylee has forgotten all about her special page-O-vowels.
10.   Clean out the kids’ dresser – Puh-lease
11.   Go by Target (without the kids) and get birthday gifts and baby shower gifts for Saturday – Typically, each weekend there is at least one birthday party to attend. This weekend we have 1 baby shower and 2 birthday parties = 3 gifts/1 trip to Target… At some point…
12. Take the box of Capri suns that have been in my back seat for 2 weeks inside!
13.   Get wine – NO EXCUSES
This is just this week’s for me…. Not too shabby. I am not complaining at all. I think a busy body is a healthy body. I guess, I don’t know, I don’t remember. My point is, we all have a running TO DO list in our heads, and sometimes it actually makes its way to paper and eventually (gasp) gets completed!!! 
The last couple of weeks have been jam packed with stuff and that is why I need my TO DO list….Which I have misplaced…Gotta go!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Double D: Disappointments in Divorce

Well, there are worse things I guess. I won’t dare type into words what they possibly could be. But I have to say that I feel quite justified in my anger at the moment. I feel more than justified. I feel straight up validated for my annoyance and lack of patience on a particular issue. It feels almost like an outer body experience and I am on the outside looking in. I am beyond disappointed and confused.
I realize that most divorced couples aren’t going out for brunch together. A brunch between me and my ex would most likely consist of a few choice words and a baseball bat. Just kidding. (About the words.) I haven’t misplaced my expectations concerning this divorce. I never anticipated we would all of the sudden see eye to eye on things, communicate productively or even effectively. But I surely didn’t anticipate two grown adults to be so incapable of compromising on the importance their children’s welfare! Of course, this is just “my” version of the situation. I am sure you can only imagine his. Just read everything opposite of MINE and there ya have it.
In any marriage, compromise is a major ingredient to success. Compromise means both people GIVE UP something, but in turn, both GAIN something. Typically you leave a marriage once you evaluate your choices, determine you have exhausted all YOUR own efforts and decide to move on to what you hope is a happier life. No one really warns you that the next year will most always involve much of the same arguments you had during your marriage, except now, the fear of losing your spouse has fled the scene. Basically you are now fighting without that fear that helps hold your tongue back from firing off some really terrible things to one another. One or both parties might act with no fear of consequences whatsoever. Compromising is no longer on the table or up for discussion because once again, you “have nothing to lose” so to speak.
 It only gets messier with kids involved. Now all the sudden, the person you have chosen to procreate with seems a lot like that guy you let take you on a date but when it comes time to pay he says he forgot his wallet… yeah you know what guy I’m talking about. That guy who sees advancement opportunity at a call center or gets fired from Colter’s BBQ.  This is now the person you are debating with on eve-er-y-friggin-thing!!! As trivial as “It’s your turn to take diapers to daycare” to the classic debate of Father of the Year VS. Child Support.
If you have been or are going through a divorce, you know what I am talking about. I picked my munchkins up from daycare yesterday from my non-custodial weekend, we had our usual conversations “Did you have fun with daddy? What was your favorite/least favorite part of the weekend?” Told them what I did, and proclaimed how much we missed each other. I was almost rendered speechless (shut up! It happens sometimes) when my oldest told me her least favorite part of her weekend was when she had to spend the night away from her daddy. (insider: I try to NEVER inquire about my kid’s time with their dad to avoid making them feel interrogated, put in the middle or anything like that. I anticipate they receive enough of the third degree when out of my custody) But this raised a hot red flag so I said, “Where did you spend the night?” She said a name that I am vaguely familiar with. Not enough to shrug it off and be like, OH OK COOL, more like, Hmmm, how do I know that nameWho is that??  I eventually found out that she was supposed to spend the night with her aunt, but at the last minute was taken to this random chick’s house to finish out her night. Coincidentally, while at an Improv Comedy show with a mutual friend, I discovered at approximately 10pm on Saturday night, my ex was attempting to make plans with this mutual friend to meet up at a local bar to watch some fights. Of course in my mind I am pondering a few things. 1. How is he going out when he is supposed to be with our kids? 2. Who is watching our kids? 3. Is it that hard to stay home every other weekend?
His rebuttal and defense for our child being double brokered to a second babysitter was his sister didn’t even tell him she took our daughter to this 3rd person. GREAT! Imagine my relief. Ignorance = Innocence.
The tiny fact that the sandals I just bought Logan are conveniently lost/misplaced at the ex’s and will be returned “if he remembers” (actual quote) was expected and actually long overdue. I anticipated these juvenile games to begin a lot sooner than they actually did. Kylee told me daddy’s new girlfriend is a cheerleader and wants her to teach her how to do a cheer. That kinda made me LOL for many reasons.
My ex is much like those Danielle Steel romance novels. They are predictable, substandard, and usually leave you disappointed in the end.
I still remain his biggest fan in my kid’s eyes. (Which I personally think I deserve something salty covered in chocolate, or a metal of some sort for being capable of pulling this one woman show off almost daily) I constantly tell them how nice it was to buy them all that stuff, take them to all those places, etc.  I am a professional truth hider. I never want them to see him the way I do, or feel the massive weight of disappointment in him that I do. He will always be their dad and I am hopeful one day his bitterness will dissolve into nothing and he can get on with his life and not resent me for getting on with mine. But until then, I foresee many future petty arguments about whose turn it is to bring wipes to daycare, where Kylee’s sketchers are, did you pay your half of daycare and who knows what else. If it is under the sun it will rise up.

Please pray with me for a hedge of protection over my kids. That their eyes and ears be shielded from anything negative that might interrupt God’s plan for their life. That His love flow into me and their father. That we both receive a spirit of love and compromising attitudes for the sake of our children. I pray we both recognize daily that our children are gifts of responsibility God blessed us with and that we not abuse it in any way, shape or form.
Thanks for reading!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Boiler Room

OK, so I have plenty of pet peeves, as I’m sure we all do. I was not born a naturally patient person. It is a skill that I have to actively practice each day. It is NOT like riding a bike where if you don’t do it for a year it all comes back to you. NO. Patience for me has to be done each day or it will take me a month to get back in the saddle, so to speak. Recently, in the midst of an adult size tantrum, I realized I need to practice my patience more.
A….lot…more.
My boss and his wife had to go to Phoenix this week for a competition their son is in. My boss and I work very well together. We think alike, we make the same choices, we respect one another. His wife works with us too, helping with phones, our paperwork, and other stuff like that. She and I are pretty close so it really is like THE perfect work environment. Because our business is customer driven, it makes taking time off not impossible, but stressful.
If you ever saw that movie The Boiler Room with Vin Diesel, that is the environment we work in every day minus the hot guys. Constant phone calls, constant rate negotiations, commission based pay, customer routed business. So to bring anyone one in, even just to help answer phones requires some training, and the X factor.
So my boss recruited a friend of his to come and train with us, in efforts to HELP me while they were gone. Well, let’s just say not all good intentions have a good outcome.
So Renea (my boss’s wifey) left Sunday for Arizona and Shawn (my boss) flew out last night. Here we go. The gentlemen he contracted to work with me the rest of the week is an older guy, slow paced, sit on the front porch sipping tea and doing crossword puzzle type of pace. The kind of gentle you only find in people born in the 1940’s I guess. Of course he isn’t current or acclimated with anything electronic such as a computer. Words like icon, excel, double-click sound a lot like 당신 미쳤 운전 does to me.
He comes from a generation where you WORK and EARN your keep. So his intentions are well assigned. He offers to help in any way he can, over extends himself to do more, refuses to go home early. His worth ethic is correct, no doubt! Unfortunately, there is nothing he could do that would be helpful to me. It would hinder what I have to get accomplished. Yet, he never stops offering. It is quickly starting to annoy me. Much like when a toddler asks to help you with a task you know will just be easier and faster if you do it. So you cleverly give them a not-so-vital task to complete, they get bored and are back at your feet asking to do more… yeah, that is what I am contending with.
 Each time he answers the phone, he has a question. I move at a quicker pace than most, so to slow down is excruciating for me. This is why Shawn and I work so well together because we have the same stamina and pace in the office. Repeating myself is #1 on my pet peeve list. Those of you who know me, my #1 pet peeve changes almost weekly. But this week, having to repeat myself is at the top of the charts! I am having to slow my natural pace down from notch 110 to a 6. It physically pains me. I feel my brain starting to twitter and my blood pressure rising.
My great friend Tammy is floating all over the place on cloud nine. She just got engaged and is out frolicking the town today with her fiance, looking at apartments, picking out furniture, taking engagement photos, NOT having to repeat herself. I get an email from her earlier and she closed with this:
P.S. Show old guy in the office some love today. :)

Tammy reminded me that extending grace is important in our daily lives. When we are given grace, forgiveness, mercy, etc it almost feels deserved or earned. But when we find ourselves in a situation where we are the givers and not receivers of grace, it proves to be quite difficult. This post was really just an outlet for me to vent and rant about my crappy two days of work hell in front of me. Thanks Tammy for bringing me back to earth and reminding me of something I had fotgotten in the midst of repeating myself, over, and over, and over. And thanks to those of you reading!

Next week I will tell you how Kylee thinks peeing on the carpet is funny… And how patient I was with that! (insert sarcasm)