Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Top 5 Worst Birthday Presents for Kids

Obviously having children changes your life, pretty much forever. From the way you eat to the way you sleep. Your weekends go from sleeping in until your body physically cannot sleep anymore, to getting up before the sun rises just to watch repeat episodes of The Backyardagains and Team Umizoomi. Your weekends almost immediately become consumed with birthday parties. Non-stop.Birth.Day.Parties.
In the mommy society there are few ground rules which we all know about, yet none of us speak about.

1.       If I come to your kid’s party, you better come to mine
2.       Don’t RSVP if you don’t mean it
3.       Limit the amount of CRAP in the goodie bags
4.       Don’t make me get in a swimsuit…Seriously
5.       Don’t have a party during peak naptime hours

Pretty simple rules.

Of course with the hectic-ness that accompanies the title of being a mom, these commandments cannot always be accommodated. Scheduling conflicts, multiple parties to attend, sports and LIFE in general can be a booger!

We typically try to attend as many parties as possible. I would estimate that we spend roughly $35-60 per month on presents. More often than not, I am friends with the mother of the birthday boy/girl. I mean like an actual real life friend, not just a Facebook acquaintance. I take that into consideration when picking out the gifts. My kid’s birthdays this year were both successful.  They had fun and got a lot of great presents. I’m so  thankful (that reminds me I gotta get thank you notes) for all of our friends and family who spent their time and money on my kids. However there are certain gifts that add more stress and headaches to my life than necessary. I would like to go on Blog record, that if you have ever bought the following gifts for other kids, I assure you their mom is secretly plotting their revenge on you at this very moment.

1.       Puzzles – Sure, we love for our kids to do puzzles! We love when our kid has that desire to find match and put things together. We think it makes them smarter and when they complete on we are ready to glaze it and frame it and send them off to Baby Genius Academy. But the truth is we like them to do puzzles at daycare, or school, or grandmas. Not at home. They take up the entire dining room table; they only want your when you are trying to cook dinner or after you already started on a box of wine and couldn’t match a pair of socks, let alone a friggin puzzle!
2.       Sidewalk Chalk – Yes! Just what every mother needs! An activity that requires a bath immediately afterwards. It gets everywhere. Hands, face, clothes, shoes, everywhere! Not to mention that participation requires we get on the ground and typically getting back up isn’t as easy as it used to be in the BC years. (Before Children)
3.       Jewelry Makers – Ahhh the gift that keeps on giving. I assure you no matter how prepared you are for this craft; you will find beads, balls and glitter all over your house for the next 2 years. Beads in the couch cushions glitter in the carpet, balls in your vacuum. My daughter got a Jewelry maker this year for her birthday and I have decided that the mother giver of this gift must have been plotting her sweet vengeance on me since high school. That is the only explanation. Shout out Malori! This particular jewelry maker has about 20 individual little bags of itsy bitsy balls, that you add water to and 4-6 hours later they expand to big balls which are ooey, and gooey and hard to handle. During the 4-6 hour wait period, Kylee asked me about 273 times, are they ready yet? Are they ready yet? Are they ready yet? ARE THEY READY YET, MALORI?! Note to mothers: if any gift requires a wait period of 4-6 hours, move on to the Barbie aisle.
4.       Play-doh – The same premise of the puzzles. I don’t mind that my child play with Play-doh, as long as it is not at my house. It always ends up on the floor and stuck in my carpet. Why do mothers do this to their fellow mothers? It’s just cruel.
5.       Paint – I think you are getting the idea….

I’m starting to understand why that one mom (who shall remain nameless here) registered for her kid’s birthday gifts.

Thank you notes are coming soon!