Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The X Man strikes again

While the kids were with the X Man this weekend I got all proactive-ish and cleaned out their closet and drawers. I knew I would never be successful at this if the kids were present because Kylee insists on wearing her summer dresses even when it’s 46° in the morning and claims it still fits as long as she doesn’t bend over, or jump, or move…. See mom?! It fits!! My good friend sent me her son’s winter wardrobe from last year, so I was able to restock Logan’s drawers quite plentifully and had enough to share with a friend and send some to the X Man.  It’s probably the most productive thing I did all weekend to be honest. Dude and I were invited to a costume party Saturday night.  Knowing the kids were with their dad and not at home with a sitter made the night much more enjoyable. I took my berry flavored 5 hour energy and had a really fun time together.
Sunday was the type of day I think everyone needs from time to time. I had no plans, no agenda, no errands, no chores and no responsibility. No one needed me. No one was making demands on me, or touching me, or climbing on me, or asking to be fed or changed. It was a peaceful, quiet and a lazy day jam packed with cheesy horror movies, pajama pants, Sonic cheeseburgers and the dude. I can’t wait to do that again.
Mondays after The X Man’s weekend is like Christmas morning. Around 3pm I start getting all giddy and excited. I become a minute hoarding clock watcher. When 4:30 hits all you can see is a trail of smoke from my desk to the door. Seeing Logan’s face light up and hear him wail, Mommmeeeeeeey is better than chocolate and peanut butter. Then we go to Kylee’s class and I get a second serving of excitement! This is something I never get full of.  It’s my consolation prize for being without them all weekend.
We I’ve been working on Kylee’s attitude and behavior a lot lately. I finally found a technique that is yielding significant results. She isn’t acting like Veruca from Willy Wonka anymore and we are really enjoying each other. Whereas before most of our time together was spent reprogramming what she saw, heard and did at her dad’s and reinforcing the reality that she.is.five.years.old. Not thirty-five and rules will be followed and enforced.
Unfortunately The X Man and I still can’t see eye to eye on whether or not to allow our thirty FIVE year to wear mascara. My stance has been clearly expressed to him, Kylee and to Hannah Montana. In his efforts to validate himself and his role as her father, he decided to buy Kylee her very own tube of mascara.  (Pause for applause) When Kylee told me that Hannah Montana and daddy said mascara isn’t bad for her eyes a blanket of emotions covered me. Not only are they both undermining me, they are gambling with my daughter’s well being for the sake of their own selfish desire for control. Kylee didn’t just fall off the turnip truck so she asked the very obvious question, “How come you say mascara is bad for me but daddy and Hannah say its okay?” After months of protecting her from the truth of her daddy, I decided honesty would be the best approach to her intriguing question. I told her that mascara is for adults, not kids. That she got pink eye from it before, that it could cause her eye lashes to prematurely fall out, that she might develop eye allergies, and all in all, YOU’RE FIVE! Let’s hope Kylee is mature enough to make good decisions about her health because her father can’t be burdened with that responsibility.  Obviously.
I wish I didn’t have so much X Man material to vent about. We get two blogs in without mentioning the stupidity and idiocy then BAM! Although Dude and his child’s mother have a good relationship so comparing the two would be futile. But as the “girlfriend” I would never want to cross any lines with his child’s mother. Maybe that comes from the mutual respect as a mother. Maybe it’s because I’m not 19. Whatever the reason, Hannah Montana has just officially earned a place on The List. At least The X Man’s first girlfriend had the desire to respect me and have a civil relationship with me. I feel double whammied. Not only do I have to endure disrespect from him, but from his concubine now as well? No thank you.
Since The X Man apparently makes parenting choices opposite of what he knows I desire, I might keep it to myself that I don’t particularly want Kylee to have a stripper pole in her room….