Friday, December 2, 2011

Things kids say......

Kids can be a great source of many things. Love, comfort, frustration, humor, the list goes on and on. For me and my situation, my kids are the source to everything in my life. As a single mom my eyes can’t always be on them at all times (please don’t call CPS), but my ears can be. When we are driving in the car and my eyes are on the traffic in front of me but my ears are in the back seat. Or at the grocery store, my eyes are on the 2/$1 Chocolate Bars canned veggies, but my ears are in the shopping cart.  Or in the kitchen, my eyes are on the stove but my ears are in the living room. With my eyes being unavailable 24/7, my ears catch a lot of stuff that my eyes can’t filter the truth of. I often just smirk at the inappropriateness of what I hear leave their innocent little mouths and enter my dirty little mind.  Don’t judge me for having a pervy mind. Sometimes you just gotta laugh it off.
In my defense, I totally fought every urge to say that’s what she said.
In no particular order of hilariousness…..
10.) Logan, get your own balls, these are mine! (Referencing Christmas ornaments)
9.) Logan lick the pink part, it’s the sweetest! (Referencing a two colored lollipop)
8.) Your head is WAY bigger than mine. (Comparing noggin sizes)
7.) Sh*% Ear Mommy (Logan translation – Sit Here Mommy)
6.) Touch her, she’s soft and she likes it. (Referencing a puppy)
5.) You have to sit on his lap to get what you want (In reference to meeting Santa)
4.) Don’t stick it in there (There’s no telling)
3.) He made my sheets sticky!!! (Logan got in her bed with sticky hands)
2.) I like to lick them first then eat em (Referencing peanut butter crackers)
1.) You smell like a toilet seat (um….??)
*Bonus: You can’t fit the whole thing in your mouth…. (Referring to a banana.....I know!)
 Totally porny but as I stood in the produce section, I LOL’ed.