Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Glimpses


I love starting new posts like this. Another great weekend filled with people I sincerely love and like being around. The people who add substance, significance and pure joy to my life. I like to submerge myself with these people because I can actually feel the happiness inside growing from a once trampled on weed to a beautiful hibiscus of some sort. I’m not sure I’ve ever used the word hibiscus before or if I’m using it correctly but I feel like that paints a good picture for yall.

The kids and I went to dinner with my Ex-Mother-In-Law Friday night. She and I once had a very good relationship and I think we both caught a glimpse of that at dinner. I saw something on Pinterest that said May the bridges I burn light the way. I think we both are guilty of dropping the match on our bridges in the past, but I am thankful that those bridges are now lighting the way into a new relationship.
Any Saturday that the kids sleep past 6am, I know is going to be a good day. The kids slept until 8am!!! It’s like I’m able to cash in all those Saturday mornings at 6am for one Saturday each quarter to sleep until 8am. It was well deserved. A bunch of us (the boy and his son included) were going to spend the day at Eagle Mountain Lake. We took a hike with all the kids, we played bad mitten, the kids rode their scooters, we joked, we laughed, we lived.

That is what life is for me now. Making memories with people I love.

After the lake we went back to The Boy’s house with his son for dinner and much needed rest. We put a movie on for the kids and insisted they gave their little bodies a break. Later that evening, we sat in his driveway with front row seats to our future as we watched the kids ride their scooters , throwing the ball around and laughing. I caught a glimpse of our forever from the tailgate of his truck. I knew nothing would make me happier than shewing the mayflies away as we watched our kids playing together, teaching Logan to catch, listening to country music from the garage, or how boy looked over at me and grinned.

Sunday we slept in again, but still made it to the early service at church… I guess sleeping in is all relative depending on who you ask… We finished our day by the pool with friends laughing and joking and getting a good dose of vitamin D.

I looked around at the relationships I have and how sturdy they all are. How confident I am that each person in my life not only loves me, but supports me and encourages me daily. And how I am able to touch them and reciprocate the same value to their lives. God really did turn something terrible into something amazing.

Hard days will come, of course….. But with good friends, good family and a good Boy, I finally have a glimpse of what God meant when he said For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11.

Thanks God. 

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Copy, Paste Forever


I started this blog after I separated from the X Man in hopes that my emotions and feelings would be validated in some diminutive way. That by pressing Publish Post it would certify that what I was experiencing was normal and that someone gave a hoot about it.  As I have been growing within myself, the purpose of the blog is shifting from its original intention and meaning. I’m no longer writing from a place of confusion, worry, doubt or fear. Confusion about how my path lead me there, worry of surviving alone, doubt and fear about being a good mom. I’m addressing this blog from a new place of total confidence and excitement about my future.

The boy and I introduced the kids this weekend. I was so nervous. If you are a committed follower or reader of this blog it should come as no surprise to you that Kylee can be a tad sassy.  I was fearful of which foot she was going to put forward. Also, I was meeting his son and his mom for the first time. Needless to say there was a lot of pressure being applied to that day. The boy reassured me that thus far our relationship has been extremely blessed and God would continue to iron out all the wrinkles for us, including the relationship with our children and families. And boy was he right. Kylee and his son got along perfectly and she embraced the Boy as well. You could feel the natural comfort in the air. It wasn’t manufactured or created out of the desire to please us. It was, genuine. His son engaged me into a tickle war and begged for more. Logan was just trying to keep up with them and held his own pretty well. We spent that very rainy day dodging nurf gun bullets, coloring, watching movies, connecting and laughing. I could copy and paste that day into my life forever.

It was an important step for both of us and a crucial step towards our future together. The Boy brings light to a lot of things I could never see before and redefines things I thought I already knew.  He has reaffirmed my faith on many levels. He is a prayer that has come to fruition and I am humbled by God’s passion for my happiness.  
God has aligned things up for us in such a way that all we have to do is take the steps He is placing before us and at the pace He chooses for us. I’m fairly certain He made it this easy for me my entire life. Only now, He has my full attention.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

God: The Spiritual Feng Shui Master


I’m sitting here looking at this white screen trying to figure out a way to put in print how amazing God is. I am forewarning you that I am going to fall extremely short in expressing the depth and precision of His love and blessings on all of us.

Just 3 weeks ago I was opening myself up and moving things around within my heart so that God could move in and perform a Feng Shui type makeover of my insides.  I had somehow allowed myself to get comfortable with where I was spiritually, but my spirit was very uncomfortable. I had a Holy Spirit Charlie horse with unrelenting pain.  I knew I was actively disobeying God. I knew He wanted me to run away from it, break off ties with it, delete it from my life and move forward into His plan for me. I resisted. Ask me why and we’ll have a starring contest for hours. I simply don’t know. Personal desire, earthly needs, general rebellion? Who knows? There are tons of reasons we choose to go against God’s grain.  Minor details excluded, I finally decided that I wasn’t going to make any more decisions without God saying, YES.  

Ever since I said YES to God, He has been saying YES right back at me. Blessings are overflowing in every corner of my life. Broken pieces of my past are mending and obstacles are being removed. The path is paved with God’s assurance and guided by His truth.

I know my audience and I can say this with complete confidence, that I have found my future. I know where I am, and I know where I am going.

I encourage any eyes that read this to allow God into your spiritual living room and let him rearrange your life according to His vision, not yours. He is the greatest interior decorator and no one will ever make your spiritual house look better than He will.