Thursday, May 10, 2012

Flugger-Flumps


With the experiences I have accumulated over the past few years I feel confident that I have the expertise to diagnose myself with a Flugger-flump disorder. I created that word specifically for my disorder because its sounds so wrong, that it’s right.

I am more than capable of delegating tasks, organizing things, maintaining a good routine in the home, getting bills paid on time, running errands in between errands and other daily TO DO stuff. But I am completely incapable of delegating my emotions to the appropriate places within myself. I try to find places to sit my anger down but as soon as I lay it down insecurity and fear are being lodged at my head and before I know it I’m juggling all of these emotions with nowhere to sit them down. It’s like I’m an emotional hoarder. This is not a permanent disorder that plaques me daily. It comes and goes and sometimes I can go a month without a breakout of the Flugger-Flumps.  But when it surfaces, the symptoms can include irrational thoughts, racing heart, inability to concentrate, fear of everything, and fighting with people you love. And if the person you are fighting with has never experienced the Flugger-Flumps, it’s difficult for them to give a hoot why you’re acting like an emotional disaster who escaped Insanity Island.

I don’t have a lot else to say other than I am suffering from severe Flugger-Flumps today and I am trying to process them so that they don’t make a permanent scar on my life. Growing hurts; Physically, spiritually and emotionally. As babies grow they experience actual pains in their bodies. As children grow they experience pains when paying the consequences for poor choices. (That doesn’t just apply to children but adults as well.) And as adults, well we experience the growing pains in all of the above mentioned ways. So grab some wine and your bible and work it out I guess.

What? I’m not writing this because I have any answers or remedy…. All I have are Flugger-Flumps.