Monday, July 30, 2012

The Ring of Fire


How was your weekend? Unless it was consumed with thoughts of ringworm, bleach, sanitizing and fungus then it was better than mine. I spent all weekend washing, re-washing sanitizing and bleaching everything I touched. I got ringworm on my arm and face! You can’t imagine how often you touch your face until you aren’t allowed to touch your face.

Logan recently had ringworm which morphed into the ugliest case of infantigo you’ve ever seen. I was militant about sanitizing and quarantining my house during and after this epidemic of fungi but I apparently missed a molecule and it has taken up residency on my arm and jaw bone.

I jumped online immediately to find the best home remedies to try. I’ve applied just about every house hold item to these little demons from vinegar and nail polish remover to ostrich poop. I’ve burned and stained my skin with the bleach technique, I’ve felt the fire of a thousand suns when I applied the vinegar and salt paste… I pretty much sacrificed my body to the Google search engine monster and trusted hundreds of strangers who all swore it would clear up in a couple of days. A “couple of days” have come and gone and I am still an infected, fungus carrying diseased germa-phobe. Thank you Ask.com, Yahoo Answers and Wiki for a whole lotta nothing!

I have scheduled a doctor’s appointment. Unfortunately they can’t see me until the end of the week. So I have a “couple of days” left of washing, re-washing, sanitizing and bleaching before I can hopefully be prescribed something with unicorn tears to clear this up.

One time Kylee had lice and I thought that was the worst thing I ever had to endure… I would now like to retract that thought and submit my new idea that ringworm is the absolute worst thing I will have to deal with.  Now I know what Johnny Cash was talking about when he sang A Ring of Fire. He obviously had applied bleach to his ringworm.

I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down and the flames went higher
 And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire The ring of fire
The RINGWORM of fire!