Friday, August 24, 2012

Meet The Teacher

I pictured what Meet the Teach Night was going to be like. I played it out in my head. We were going to go to the school, walk the halls, meet the teacher, put supplies in assorted boxes, see some of Kylee’s classmates, even maybe pimp her out to some friends before the first day of school. It went a lot more like a frantic fire drill and no one knew where the exits were.

The place was swarming with clueless parents (ahem….me) who had no idea where to go and another group of people who were running the clueless folks over. A hall monitor finally pointed us in the right direction and we found Kylee’s classroom. It was not at all what I expected. It was a cluttered and crowded storage room. It looked like the setting for a Hoarder episode. It might be a normal size room if all the boxes and unused televisions weren’t stacked up to the ceiling. I tried to hide the confusion and dissatisfaction from leaving my face. Doesn’t this teacher have a Pinterest account? There were no lockers, no individual itty bitty desks; there were no fun charts or pictures on the walls. To be fair I couldn’t really see the walls due to the overwhelming piled high…stuff. It was nothing like the room on Kindergarten Cop I’ll tell ya that.

Kylee immediately buried her head in my crotch and began to cry. She didn’t want anything to do with what was going down. I filled out some paperwork and then we walked around the school. The X-man and I told her stories from when we were in Kindergarten. We did our best to give her a better outlook on the situation but I’m still fairly certain Monday will be tough day for both all of us. One of the boxes of tissues on that supply list should be set aside for the mothers. Just saying, I’m gonna need it.

And I’m still unclear on the pick-up and drop off zones and rules. All the changes are very unsettling to both Kylee and me.

Next year I’m writing a book called Starting School for Dummies. This entire process has been bumpy and confusing to me. Hopefully by the time Logan goes to school I’ll have a better act for it.