Monday, August 13, 2012

Potty Like a Rock Star

The potty is the throne of my frustrations right now. Logan and I are literally in a pissing match with one another. The battles go something like this:

Me: Logan do you need to go potty?
Logan: No
Me: Let’s try
Logan: No! I no need to go potty.
Me: Logan, let’s try to go potty!! (Full of over-exaggerated excitement)
Logan: (sits on the potty for 7.2 seconds) I done.
Me: No keep trying babe
Logan: I DONE!!! (full of over-exaggerated rudeness)

On Friday night I put Logan in his coolest pair of big boy underwear. I fully disclosed the terms and conditions of wearing the big boy underwear and he understood and agreed to those stipulations.  He must have liked the bribe I offered him because he went pee pee in the potty…. Well some of it got on his step stool but most of it made it into the bowl. Kylee and I threw a massive parade of excitement and cheers! You could see it on his face that Logan was proud of himself. He was properly rewarded with an ice cream sandwich because I accidentally ate all of his pre-purchased rewards of M&M’s. Don’t judge me.

With the roll we were on I wasn’t at all going to slow down this potty train. I kept him in underwear the rest of the weekend…. As a result I have a fully potty trained toddler cleaned a lot of pee out of my carpets.
The part that irks me is he fully understands where to go and how to go. But he won’t go. Unless I tell him it’s time to take a nap or go to bed or leave the pool, then he realizes his untimely desire to pee in a potty, or at least sit on one for 30 minutes.

This is one of those situations I would much rather shell out a lot of cash for someone else to do for me. Like Man’s Best Friend. You pay someone, send your dog away for a week, they come back trained, well mannered and how to open doors for their master. I would gladly send Logan off for a week if he would come back brainwashed into pooping in a toilet.

Man’s desire to have their butts wiped for them obviously begins at birth and ends when…. well, uh, hmmm, does it end?

Inquiring minds want to know…