Monday, September 10, 2012

Parent Report Card: Needs Improvement


I’m not even gonna sugar coat this… My weekend sucked. My kids were possessed and hell bent on driving me insane. If I didn’t know any better I would think someone was bribing them with tickets to Disneyland and cotton candy in exchange to see my head go straight thru the wall. It was nothing short of Godly intervention that kept their heads from going thru a wall.

Kylee had her first cheer game Saturday morning. We started with a tantrum appetizer because her shoes felt too tight. We followed that with an entrée of sibling squabbles topped with screaming and yelling. Dessert was served with a wooden spoon. This was all before 10am.

The Texas heat took a hiatus for the weekend and gave us some beautiful, sunny 80° weather. We actually needed jackets that morning. It was a nice preview to the fall season on the horizon. I had a crazy notion that the nice weather would adjust the kid’s horrifying moods and we could spend as much time outside as possible. HA.

First attempt: Sidewalk chalk and bubbles – FAIL
It was like a Mexican cock fight in a dark ally. I want the purple! NO, I had it first! Ahhh! Give it! STOP!

Second Attempt: Take a walk and go to the park – FAIL
Kylee wanted to ride her scooter and Logan wanted to ride her scooter. It didn’t go well and the walk was about 7.3 minutes total.

Third Attempt: Take a nap: FAIL

Later that afternoon we had plans to go to a friend’s house for a BBQ. So I gathered my grumpy, no napped children and prayed they would put on their fake angel faces and behave for the next couple of hours and not embarrass me. But apparently their terribleness knows no bounds. There was fighting, there was screaming, there was pouting, there was no end in sight. I also had to keep my nephew that night so it was 3 against 1. I was outnumbered.

Being the oldest of all the cousins, Kylee feels a divine privilege to boss everyone around which typically ends in fighting and tear shed. A lot of my evening was spent refereeing until they thankfully passed out.

If there was a parent report card for my weekend with the kids it would look a lot like this

F+