Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Rise N Friggin Shine


My kids have been home from their dad’s roughly 20 hours (but who’s counting?) and I’m already reaching for the Benadryl life line. Something happens during their time away from me that gives them a false sense of fearless insanity to speak and act like intoxicated Chihuahuas. When Kylee whines all I hear are the monkeys from the Wizard of Oz. 

Truth is, no one likes waking up for work or school. The 6am hour is only welcomed by kids on Saturday or Sunday when the possibility to catch some extra sleep is an attainable dream. But Kylee’s response to me getting her up for school can easily be compared to her reaction when I told her she needed shots for Kindergarten; Loud and full of tears. It’s not a new routine. I haven’t added any hoops of fire to jump through. My expectations of her in the mornings are fairly minimal. Get dressed, brush her teeth and hair, pack her lunch. Simple. I typically make her pack her lunch the night before to avoid the certain explosion of emotions that follow my difficult request that she…pack her lunch. I simply do not understand her unjustified outbursts of lunacy in the mornings before school. I wake her up gently with hugs and kisses and the lame ole Rise N’ Shine but she still wakes up as hostile as a pit bull. If I came in blaring Linkin Park or Nickelback while slamming pots and pans together I would understand her being somewhat unreceptive to me. 

I haven’t discovered the perfect way to wake a child yet. I know it doesn’t consist of:
a)      Saying good morning
b)      Asking how they slept
c)       Kissing their heads
d)      Rubbing their backs
e)      Saying Rise N Shine
f)       Or waking them up

Maybe if I tell them tomorrow is Saturday they will wake up on time with more energy than an ADHD kid filled with soda and cotton candy. 

I’d rather not start my mornings off with constant reminders that brushing their teeth and going to school barefoot is not an option. It never was so stop asking! 

I’m downloading Linkin park and Nickelback to my Ipod just in case new techniques need to be explored.