Thursday, July 11, 2013

1000 Crappy Things

I recently subscribed to this blog thing called 1000 Awesome Things. It gives you little daily things that are, well, awesome! Like taking your heels off at the end of a long day, (for me it’s my bra, but same difference) or your first cup of coffee in the morning, the smell of a hardware store, etc. All in efforts to help you appreciate the smaller things in life. Awe how sweet right?! I love that idea. 

Leave it to me to wanna write something the exact opposite of that. I didn’t even have to channel my inner Omarosa to write this post. The negative junk just flows from my brain to my finger tips like Mountain Dew flows in house of Honey Boo Boo.  

So here’s the beginning of my list of 1000 Crappy things. As I discover other things to add to this list (probably while shopping in Walmart) I will create a new post titled 1000 MORE Crappy things.
1.       Wet towels on the floor. Oh sweet Santa Claus why!!! This problem multiplies during the summer due to the numerous trips to the pool. I bought a towel rack for the kid’s bathrooms specifically for… TOWELS, TAAA-DAAA! And they have yet to acknowledge it’s existence.
2.       Remotes. We have 3 TV’s and 4 remotes. On any given day of the week, we might  know where 1 is. If we’re lucky! The other 3 could possibly be under the towels but no one will ever find them because no one picks them up. They casually side step them and continue on with their lives until I’m yelling at them to please use the damn towel rack! Oh hey look, a remote?!
3.       People who don’t turn right on red. AHEM school buses! I’m lookin at you.
4.       Snoring. No one in particular, not mentioning names.  I’ll just leave it at, the pre-marriage class mentioned nothing on what to do if your spouse snores like a bull frog mating with a wart hog. Kurt! Huh? Wha?
5.       That Redbox isn’t $1 per movie per night anymore.
6.       Forced computer updates.
7.       Walmart on a Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.
8.       When my coffee gets cold.
9.       Bad cell phone service. They didn’t show it in the movie but bad cell phone service was the sole reason Bruce Banner transforms into the Hulk.  
10.   I hate when I get emotional over something and feel 223% justified in my emotional fury (a.k.a over-reaction. i.e crying when your hair tie snaps) and realize 12 hours later it was just my period. Whoops! Then the person you laid your wrath on gets to blame it all on PMS when they were probably equally at fault and deserved everything you gave em and more!! Then 3 days later you realize, man, I really am a bitch once a month. PMS must  be real.Myth Busters need not research this one.
11.   When laundry detergent stains my clothes. It’s pretty much the exact opposite of what it’s supposed to do. Good job Tide, Bravo!

What's the date today?

And this was just from this week! I can already tell I will have to put a limit on my negativity, or offset it by reading more awesome things. We don’t want me getting too cynical and grumpy right? Look guys, I’m not complaining about these things out loud or spreading my annoyance to other people. This entry doesn’t exactly paint me as Miss Susie Sunshine but deep down, (really deep down) I’m sure I have the zen of Gwenyth Paltrow. I'm certain of it! 

In efforts to spread some positivity to counterbalance my negativity, check out