Thursday, July 18, 2013

My laundry basket is half full. It overflows

There are approximately 39 days before school starts. We haven’t read a book together since two weeks prior to school being let out for the summer. The only arithmetic the kids have done is how much longer until we leave for the water park, how many more shows before bedtime, how much longer until dinner and how many times mommy has to tell me to flush in a day. 

Then I wonder why my kids act and do such stupid shhhhh right in front of me. I am single handedly responsible for my children’s brain failure. It’s on me. Their brains go into hibernation mode in the summer and when called upon to use it, tantrums and back talk spew from their mouths. They are thoughtless, careless and sloppy little demons.  And it’s causing twitching and muscle knots all over my body. 

I’m a little tired of their rolling eyes, lights left on, wrappers everywhere, shoes everywhere, socks everywhere, couch pillows… You guessed it, everywhere. These children are like little traveling grenades exploding every 15 minutes in every square inch of our home.  They are unaware of their surroundings and could probably survive in a dumpster. Where ever they go, a mess follows. When we walk in the door it’s like a race who can remove everything they have on the fastest and demand a snack first. Much like slugs leave a trail of their grossness, my children leave evidence of their sloth-ness.  

I spend a lot of my time deflecting their tattling, cooking un-eaten food, refilling cups, replacing couch pillows, reminding little people to turn the lights off, folding laundry and repeating myself. 

Then people have the nerve to ask us if we’re having more children. Sometimes it’s not IF, it’s WHEN are you having more children?  I usually give these people a 7 second head start before I attack them like a honey badger. 

The house is full. 3 kids, 2 adults, 1 paranoid dog. It’s a losing battle. The air freshener can’t keep up with the odor of feet. Our towels permanently smell like chlorine and I’m constantly tripping on Xbox controllers. This is either summer life or the new way of life with 3 children in the house. I will have a better understanding in about 40 days. 

Our children may never know that we don’t care who had it first, who had it last, whose turn it is, whose turn is next, what happened, why it happened, or where it happened. As long as we don’t have to clean anything, pay for anything, explain anything, or get up again. If there isn’t blood, then we REALLY don’t care. Now flush the toilet, turn the light off, hang up your towel and don’t forget to put on underwear! 

Happy Summering yall! 

Side Note: Things are going really well. We absolutely love having Isaac full time. Everyone is adjusting to the new routine, new rules, new dynamics and our new life as a blended family. The kids try to compete for our love and attention all the time. The books say that’s completely normal so I’m not freaking out too much. We try to give each kid some one on one time, equal disbursement of love and attention. They say it takes a few years for a blended family to really blend.. Let’s hope we’re ahead of the curve. I think we are. 

Thinking positive. I’m a laundry basket half full kind of person after all.