Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Icemagedon 2013 Replay



Four days and five nights stuck indoors with my kids and husband. That is approximately 4,246 hours in mommy time. According to Facebook I should be cherishing this extra time with my loved ones; spending it watching Christmas movies next to the fireplace, roasting chestnuts and holding hands. Well we don’t have a fireplace and you can only watch the Grinch 17 times before it gets old (tested by yours truly). Plus I hate chestnuts. So in summary, we SURVIVED the Icemagedon of 2013, we didn’t THRIVE in it. 

The best versions of ourselves were not on display.

Granted, there were a few moments of cuddling on the couch, cooking and playing games. But we were in there for F-I-V-E nights people! There’s only so much Jenga and connect four an adult mind can absorb.
Guess how many things children agree on when trapped inside close quarters for 4 days straight?
Not much. Almost every activity involved an element of arguing. 

Watching a movie? I WANNA WATCH THIS! NO WE JUST WATCHED THAT AND IT’S MY TURN TO PICK IT! MOOOOM!

Finally agree on a movie? I WANNA SIT THERE! NO I WAS HERE FIRST! MOOOOM!
Playing a game? I WANNA BE BLUE! NO I’M BLUE!!!! MOOOOM!

Finally distinguish who is Blue? YOU CHEATED! IT’S NOT YOUR TURN! STOP IT! MOOOOOM!

Coloring? THAT’S MY COLORING BOOK? NUH-UH YOU GAVE IT TO ME! NOOOO GIVE IT BACK! MOOOM!

Cooking? I WANNA POUR THE FLOUR IN! NO I GET TO AND YOU GET TO POUR IN THE SALT! NUH-UH! MOOOOOM!

It was like merging all the animals from the zoo into one habitat and hoping for the best.
Thankfully Kylee found a friend who just moved in next to us. Same grade, same school, score! (Or so I thought) I went over and introduced myself to the new friend’s mother. We exchanged information and took turns letting the girls play inside our houses. Except they were always at my house and I quickly realized who drew the short straw on this deal. 

I knew Kylee’s friend was special when she walked in the front door without knocking and shouted “Good morning guys” the day after we met her. At 9:08AM!

I had a brief manners tutorial with her and went back to my bacon.

Day 2 of knowing this girl, she tells me she’s ready for lunch. Our food supply was critical and I was unsure of when we could make it to the grocery store for a refill of essentials. So I suggested she walk next door and let her mom know. She seemed sincerely surprised that I was not going to prepare her a meal… But she quickly complied and informed me she would be right back after lunch. Great. The door will be locked open!

When she returned after lunch, she informed me she wants to paint her nails and asked where I keep the polish. I told her in my bathroom and I would get it for them. She shewed me away and said, “No, I’ll get it” and walked herself into MY bedroom, into MY bathroom, into MY cabinet and marched out with all of MY nail polish. She later spilled some on the carpet and casually chalked it up to, “Yeah sometimes I forget to put lids on things.” This one had no home training whatsoever and I realized now why they were at my house the entire time. Her mom was home alone, poppin champagne and celebrating her new found freedom from her menace child!

The other fun fact about Kylee’s friend is she can’t tie her shoes. SUPERB! Just what my nerves need! Another kid who can’t do something for themselves.Every time the girls came inside and removed their shoes, I would have to assist in the untying of her double knots, then retying her shoes with a double knot, per her request! Somehow this new friend that once seemed like the answer to Kylee’s boredom has now become my third child to take care of, entertain and feed! 

But alas, all good things must run into a big brick wall, crash and burn. (Insert evil laugh here) One of the last days stuck inside, this girl decides she doesn’t want to play with Kylee anymore. She simply wants to sit with me, and play with our dog. A request not easily accepted by Kylee. She tells her the ground rules. Basically if you’re in her home, you will play with her. If not, BUH-BYE! I tried to soften the delivery of Kylee’s harsh message but I totes agreed with her. I was already struggling with entertaining 2 bored kids, I was not about to willingly take on another one that can’t even tie her own shoes. The main reason I welcomed this kid into my home was to keep Kylee busy. The girls began to argue about something petty so I sent her friend home and locked the deadbolt behind her! 

At this point I realized I was reaching my all I can take point and one dirty misplaced sock could send me over the edge. GO, GO GADGET PATIENCE!!!!

I was low on wine and tampons so make your own assumptions how the rest of our ice days played out! Even my face rejected the effects of being trapped inside. No make up for 96 hours and I still manage to get a zit that feels like it has roots behind my eyeball! 

I’m finally back at work with where truck drivers cuss at me and customers are never satisfied and it always my fault,  and I couldn’t be happier. Let the choir sing and doves fly free!

I hope my fellow North Texas friends fared better than we did.